And tons of reasons that I feel compelled to keep doing the work I'm doing even if I'll lose cool points in the future for never going to morocco and giving up an awesome, dream site
9:54pmBen
if you had been to morocco before, it's marvelous and completely unique
I have been to morocco
twice
9:54pmBen
Oh
that would make the decision harder, i'd assume
if you've never been, then it's easy to not know what you're missing
i think a major PC thing is the group of PCVs that you meet
You'd think. Morocco is amazing. It's what first made me sure about peace corps when I met PCVs there
9:55pmBen
but you've been through that
and probably have a lot of new friends from it
True.
9:56pmBen
this may seem a little bit ass-ish of me
but you're the character i've been looking for for me PC Tv show that i want to right
why do you say that?
9:57pmBen
I had envisioned a character that does PC work in the US
that wants to go back, but doesnt
haha
9:57pmBen
but i couldn't think of anything worth staying for
but gang rehabilitation and integration sounds like a winner
The belief that you don't have to run away to make a difference in the world
9:58pmBen
the goal was to have the character realize that there's great power for citizens to help here and abroad, even if they never leave their communities
yes, totally
ideally, people come home fro m PC, having worked for two years on a zero-budget
they accomplish something
small or big
The truth that sometimes you just don't realize your true calling. Without Peace Corps I never would have had the confidence to make up these projects.
9:59pmBen
then when they come home, they see that they can use the same development tools and do even bigger things utilizing the vast potential in the US
right
and the fear of no-funding doesn't cripple them
9:59pmBen
it's like winning a fight with both hands tied behind your back
then you come home, and both hands are free
and you think, damn, i can do 100x more
but without leaving and living under the austere circumstances
then you stay blind to that ability
For sure
10:00pmBen
but its a hard decision
and it sounds like you're not quite made up your mind yet
The more I talk about it, the more right it feels to stay
10:01pmBen
at the same time, you can hold off on your Morocco option until the time when the plane leaves
no point burning your bridges
too early
For sure. That's why I haven't called to say I'm not going
I have to find a job here
10:02pmBen
we both know that circumstances change quickly
oh for sure
10:03pmBen
something that seems sure now, and may dissipate to nothing by september
Yeah. The good thing though is that I know no matter where I am, I have the passion for what I do to keep me going.
10:04pmBen
good
it's a renewable resource
How long are you planning to be in santa fe? Have you been before?
10:05pmBen
i think a valuable lesson from PC is that it teaches you what failure is like
over and over again
perseverance
10:05pmBen
i'm going with two girls from PCB
right
so maybe five days
however long Santuza will be there
Nice.
There's not that much excitement down in ABQ, but I suggest at least coming down for the day
10:07pmBen
i'd like to
the only place out west i know is Phoenix AZ
Thats funny to me being from california nothing seems "west"
10:09pmBen
haha
so is ABQ a place you found on your own?
or you went to school there
After coming back from Georgia I had a fantasy of moving to New Mexico
10:09pmBen
west for you is hawaii and japan
So I went home for 2 weeks, hopped on my motorcycle and moved
10:09pmBen
this is the art show we're going to see
http://www.folkartmarket.org/index.php
That looks awesome.
10:11pmBen
what other places in the world do you know?
sounds like you picked a place
that you love know
*now
I studied in spain for a year and travelled around europe from there (that's how I went to morocco)
For sure. I felt called to NM so I listened to it.
10:14pmBen
that right there should tell you something
dont mess with success
Even how I got this job was kind of like divine intervention
10:15pmBen
entonces, sabes hablar
claro
10:15pmBen
esto te ayuda mucho en Nuevo Mexico, supongo
haha
last year Santuza from my town Candelaria flew to the thing in New Mexico
and she was so worried, i had to teach her english for 4 months
but after a while i told her, hey, no te preocupes
it's New Mexico, they speak Spanish too
everyone
Most people speak spanish here. They aren't used to seeing white people like me speaking though.
10:17pmBen
yeah
that's part of how I made my "in" in the community, hablando espanol
10:17pmBen
it's easy to make their jaws drop
many of my students don't speak english and all but two of my parents only speak spanish
10:18pmBen
wow
it's a different world
Yep.
A different culture.
They are more than hispanic, they are recent immigrants, illegal, and navigating a world that is primarily against their existence
10:20pmBen
for this reason, too, PC is more for people that have yet to learn a second language or get beaten nearly to do against the culture barrier
true
There are days when I have put my life in danger by breaking up gang fights. All of my work outside of the school I've had to tiptoe not to put myself in danger or tip off the principal. It's a fine line to be part of an establishment and try to exact change from within on an issue that most people want to ignore
10:23pmBen
is this something that interested you before, or that only drew your attention when you moved to there
I moved here to work with at risk youth in education. It's what most of my work experience is in.
Moving from within the school walls into the community was new and has proven to be most rewarding
10:24pmBen
it must be gratifying for a child to see for the first time that someone is concerned about them
i imagine, there's a point where the most at-risk people aren't in schools to be helped
Yep. I got 15 known gang members to meet me on a friday after school at the community center to talk about youth violence.
They trust me. They know I care.
10:25pmBen
you know, t.i. just wrote a thing on the HuffPost blog about this being 'the era of responsibility'
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ti/put-down-your-guns_b_201493.html
I've also organized 12 teachers to start a coalition against youth violence by using positive youth development and to start a campaign to engage the community in the issues which are causing it
10:27pmBen
are you familiar at all with Positive psychology?
martin seligman, tal ben-shahar, mikal czhzifhoihfao?
(the last guy's name i can never spell right)
no
10:27pmBen
its the best thing ever
i was at a conference 2 years ago, with its leaders
and it was electric
so, the story is
i first read in my dad's AARP magazine
about the most popular class from harvard is called, positive psychology
25% of the student body take it before they leave
the same teacher has the no3 most popular class, the psychology of leadership
the cool thing, then....
the videos, syllabus and readings are available free, streaming from harvard's website
nice
10:29pmBen
so what you said, positive youth development
that's what this is
here's the first class
http://isites.harvard.edu/icb/icb.do?keyword=k14790
dang, i'm sorry
the videos are gone now
Well I love to read. If there is any literature available on the subject, I'll check it out
10:30pmBen
ok
10:32pmBen
the whole idea is, what interventions can be done, that are scientifically proven in laboratories, to promote personal growth in the ability to cope, to be more grateful, resilient, optimistic
that's awesome
10:33pmBen
and it's also
the most satisfying ways to set your goals, so that you grow as a person even if you fail to achieve your desired result
That's interesting
10:34pmBen
that idea, a large part is that you can make yourself miserable, and you'll give up if you have the wrong expectations and perspective when confronted with a challenge
before, psychology dealt exlusively with mental illness
treating that
instead, 10 years ago they started to ask, how can we get people mentally stronger & happier, so that when troubles come, they aren't immediately depressed, lashing out and hating everything
EXACTLY
10:35pmBen
so, as far as positive youth dev for gangs, this is a big part of the struggle
Sorry, that really strikes a chord for me
10:35pmBen
so the scientists have come up with things like
having a gratitude journal
where you take time to evaluate the things that went well during the day, and in life generally
Yeah. It takes a while though for the kids to take that seriously.
10:36pmBen
exericse, which is as effective as depression medication
seeking excellence, not perfection
becuase you can never reach perfection and you'll always be disappointed
I also do a pregnancy prevention program which allows young boys and girls to feel valuable by doing service learning
10:38pmBen
a lot of the ideas are very Buddhist, meditation & yoga, learning to not grasp
That also works with my affiliated kids
10:38pmBen
yeah, that's totally this same kind of thing
empathy can be taught
a major thing in the field is called, broaden and build
where people are in a negative downward spiral
and inward
where they become more reclusive and self-destructive after some kind of setback
so a person has a problem that is size A
but if their world gets smaller around them, then even if the problem remains size A
makes sense...
10:40pmBen
it seems larger because their perspective on the world is reduced
so something medium sized appears bigger in a smaller room than in a bigger room
broaden and build, then
is a technique where you try to find something that expands the boundaries of their world, the mental obstacles they are facing
it knocks them off of the downward, inward spiral
and onto an outward, upward one
so the problems are still the same size, but they seem more manageable
and are perceived as less all-encompassing because their world is once again increasing in size
That's really interesting.
10:41pmBen
an example is, my car has been stolen
so automatically i can't go anywhere or leave my house
so i dwell on the problem so much more
and feel powerless
but if a friend comes along and
gives me a ride a couple of days a week, the problem is more manageable, and i dont feel as helpless and claustrophobic
and its enough space for positive emotions to return
for me, PC Bolivia was the ultimate example of broaden and build
because i thought, coming back from that, my world will be so much bigger
and my knowledge of the ways people suffer that have less than me (or, i discovered, can have less but still be happier than i normally was)
so i'll come back to the US and I'll always have these memories to protect me from self-loathing, or being angry and upset at a setback
becuase you can never reach perfection and you'll always be disappointed
I also do a pregnancy prevention program which allows young boys and girls to feel valuable by doing service learning
10:38pmBen
a lot of the ideas are very Buddhist, meditation & yoga, learning to not grasp
That also works with my affiliated kids
10:38pmBen
yeah, that's totally this same kind of thing
empathy can be taught
a major thing in the field is called, broaden and build
where people are in a negative downward spiral
and inward
where they become more reclusive and self-destructive after some kind of setback
so a person has a problem that is size A
but if their world gets smaller around them, then even if the problem remains size A
makes sense...
10:40pmBen
it seems larger because their perspective on the world is reduced
so something medium sized appears bigger in a smaller room than in a bigger room
broaden and build, then
is a technique where you try to find something that expands the boundaries of their world, the mental obstacles they are facing
it knocks them off of the downward, inward spiral
and onto an outward, upward one
so the problems are still the same size, but they seem more manageable
and are perceived as less all-encompassing because their world is once again increasing in size
That's really interesting.
10:41pmBen
an example is, my car has been stolen
so automatically i can't go anywhere or leave my house
so i dwell on the problem so much more
and feel powerless
but if a friend comes along and
gives me a ride a couple of days a week, the problem is more manageable, and i dont feel as helpless and claustrophobic
and its enough space for positive emotions to return
for me, PC Bolivia was the ultimate example of broaden and build
because i thought, coming back from that, my world will be so much bigger
and my knowledge of the ways people suffer that have less than me (or, i discovered, can have less but still be happier than i normally was)
so i'll come back to the US and I'll always have these memories to protect me from self-loathing, or being angry and upset at a setback
that's so key to your development: to realize how under-resourced communities cope
10:45pmBen
yep
and coming back, i saw how we have so much more than we could ever possibly use
i can imagine that for a gang member to learn of that lifestyle, and have their mind expanded then it would be a similarly positive development
But with a gang problem (as with most complex issues) you have to engage the community.
The kids have said they joined out of fear of the neighborhood, poverty, and identity/sense of belonging
10:47pmBen
hmmm
so, you have to aim at the underlying concerns that push them into gangs?
If I can build the capacity of the child and reinforce the other issues in the community, then you have a greater chance of success. You have to take a holistic approach that addresses their unmet needs
Because ultimately children are born to survive and meet their needs, if they don't have positive ways to meet them they find negative ones
We have to coach them on how to be able to meet their needs in a more positive way by addressing their mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health
10:50pmBen
yeah
I had a sixth grade boy come up to me and say he was going to join a gang because he doesn't want to be a geek
10:50pmBen
so, no one-size fits all solution
shikes
sort of like, not studying because that's acting white
but worse
someday i want to do this program, a master's in applied positive psych
http://www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu/
so i care a lot about this kind of stuff
I just read about that
10:51pmBen
a major component is the focus on Strengths
I like that idea
10:52pmBen
a counselor can spend a million years on a person's weaknesses
and that may ward off depression, and learned helplessness
but to find happiness you need to put equal attention to what the child does best
where they excel
that's when you see an explosion of results, where they feel optimistic for the first time in their life, where they feel control and self-reliance
and a sense of personal wonder
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