Watching the Golden Globers right now, glad to see Tina Fey tell so many of her detractors to suck it. So I´d like to reiterate what I wrote in passing midway through my first post on this blog. And that is something that deserves much hot air, saying it again and again to myself and others:
**Rule #1 for the American Sophisticate: don´t presume to matter, no matter how much money has been spent on you in your 20-40-60 years of life**
It´s precedence comes over the other, still-unlisted rules because the question of identity is so much more entrenched and bleeding awful in our society today than I wish it were. To identify, you need qualifiers. When you self-identify, then hopefully you end up with the same good qualifiers that you desired for yourself. When you ultimately see the list of the rules for being a fellow Sophisticate, you´ll find them to all start with the phrase : ¨don´t presume to...¨ and then you´ll find one of those desired qualifiers that people hope to have for their selves. And really, if sophistication is at heart about knowing the nuances for what those things mean, then it takes a great deal of introspection to discover if you so qualify. It´s the difference between knowing the virtues, the vices, and embodying them, exuding them, expelling them from your pores and lacing them into your words. And it´s also about sharing them. You might be a greater person yet lives... less. Does less, leaves less, loves less, and, so being, wastes more.
One anecdote: speaking to my father about how I was working on a few different novels in French and Spanish from Nobel prize winners, he thought it would be an exercise in torture, hitting my head repeatedly and sharply against the language barrier wall. But I see clearly that the greatest writers are not the ones with the largest, most confusing vocabulary. Rather they are often the ones with the greatest economy of words. A word is not wasted. Except for somebody like Beckett, where all of them are. But then, too, it´s great.
The big crisis of our time is over waste. Until the 1950´s, you had a small group of the elite that were given the ability to create extravagent amassments of waste. And for all of the illiberality of that era, one thing positive is that such a world as that was sustainable. The exceptions were small groups of people here and there, often made powerful with guns: those railworkers that nearly destroyed the buffalo species, or marauding gangs on a Crusade seeking to pillar, plunder and burn. After the ´50s, things were upended and suddenly everyone creates far more waste than they can even conceptualize. As Americans, the most talented at this, the most banal in our evil against the natural world, we have the stereotype of the ugly American with huge sums of money falling out of their pockets. I think it´s a pretty accurate image, though our shared existence is posh enough that we don´t notice the more vast amounts of garbage that fall out at the same time (though other people are quite aware of this). And until we became a service economy, each dollar when calculating our GDP each year used to have a piece of trash intimately attached to it, going to the landfill. For this, we were known as the throw-away economy. Waste! While climate change is more than an energy problem, it would be much less of one if we didn´t automatically waste half of our energy production by an unintelligent electric grid. A faulty economy can be traced to the same such with our neural kilowatts, the waste of brain power (a brain is quite similar to a hybrid car, it seems... our smarts help us go to find food, so some of that energy expended is recaptured, similarly to the kinetic energy caught by a car´s brakes, and the brain is fueled and able to fire more electricity, more neurons and push the body further along the journey). Bush could have been a wonderful president, the best we ever had. He had all of the political capital that Obama does, all of the resources and the crises. Yet he wasted gobs of it on meaningless brand loyalty over qualification and merit. Considering the confrontations before us, it´s a genuine tragedy to waste such opportunity.
What is the lesson of the great writer, mentioned above? What is to be taken from the example of who wins when one pits Breadth of Vocabulary vs. economy of Word?
It´s that quality doesn´t intrinsically costs more. The waste comes from inside our usage of the raw materials. To change the way they are used is thus the key to change what is wasted. Better results can be obtained without costing more of those things.
So the tragedy of tragedies is to misuse what is given us. The great life lesson learned in Bolivia is applicable, ´I do that which simplifies my life the most´, also ´I do that which complicates my life the least.´ The lesson learned from the Harvard positive psychology class is as well: better to do one something meaningful and fully enjoy it than to skim over a lifetime of endless experiences half-felt.
Something I remember from when I was more of an athlete was reading how a good marathoner had repeatedly beaten his greater competitor at Boston by just being more diligent and efficient in his form. Those seconds not wasted led him to victory. When it comes to identity and fashioning our person then, we can use such examples to highlight what works and doesn´t. The obvious part to start is style. And when it comes to identity, results are far less important than style.
With few exceptions, people do not pay attention to the successes of others. I keep my report card, and you keep yours. And that´s fine. But while I may not remember how many A´s you made, or care, I do remember the way you were nice to me when I felt bad. I remember what you deserved according to the way you acted, the way you worked. That you were sincere. I imagine many of those reading are aware that possible Obama Senate replacement Burgess has a mausoleum with his accomplishments etched in stone. But those such things are less valuable, less enduring than the maniere d´etre demonstrated behind the figures. Similarly, people think we´ve entered a new era with the election of Obama. But there is no amelioration of racial attitudes in the next years if he doesn´t´do a good job now that he´s there. The election I believe was more symbolic of the change that has already happened in the past twenty years, before Obama ever started his campaign. More important than him being elected a ¨president who happens to be black¨ is how he handled the American people with respect, honor and gracious deference to doing things the right way rather than the easy way. But as JFK said, we´re not doing it because it is easy, but rather because it is hard. Is that not one of the most astonishing qualifiers we hope to claim as our own (and one we meet but too rarely)? The American style is found in that small Kennedy quote: democracy isnt the easiest form of government by far. Every decision becomes more pained and bloodied before it is passed than under other regimes. But it´s what identifies us and sets us on a higher plane, even if some of the results are not as good.
I enjoyed the script of the Golden Globes tonight and how insightful the writers were when describing the movies and characters (a future post will deal with how much I value and hope to better my insight). This character is neurotic, that one is self-destructive, or winsome and gamy, thoughtless and ingratiating. While we all find ourselves exhibiting a little bit of nearly every character trait at one time or another, this is the point of what I´m hoping to hit. Given that we can manipulate somewhat our destiny--I´m not so sure we do, destiny in this instance defined as our trajectory based on the calculus of our inner momentum and pathologies--given that we in fact have some control, then the question is what should that filter allow in and keep out, what to allow out and keep in. What will we let define us. What is a good fit for us. What to reinforce, what to drown out. And how to do so.
The idea to write this entry comes from a long-used exercise of mine, that of imagining what will be left next to my name when I am long-gone. Going through school, it´s a torment to decide what comes first.
Is
¨Ben, engineer.¨
a better fit than
¨ Ben: poet. ¨
¨ Ben: professor ¨
or ¨Ben: drop-out ¨ ?
I was only able to relax on this when I found a cop-out. Rather than letting my chosen area of study define my profession, I´d choose to study foreign languages and come away with skills that could be applied to many careers. Little did I think then that instead I was rather just postponing this question until the time it came to choose a graduate school program that are even more specialized!
Now, the ideal version of me goes something like this:
Ben Andrés Rose (my nom de plume ; né Ben Andrew Pennington): statesman, writer, recording artist, peace activist & philanthropist, film producer & cinéaste, endurance athlete & polyglot man of letters, brother, son, husband uncle & grandfather. Tony award winner for Krapp´s Last Tape: The Musical! (with the hit song ´I am......... craaaaaap!´). Honorary Latino.
The truth may be far off the mark. But while those things are cherished by me enough to be worth the expense of my lifetime, I much prefer to define myself in the terms over which I have more control. So it would be something like this:
I am the one who went, who tried, who lived and who died. I cared when others were mute in their ignorance, I understood when others didn´t listen. I didn´t presume to matter, and so I found what mattered more. I thought a hybrid was worth buying in 2002, when gas was still $1/gallon (it now has 100,000 miles on it). I came to you in the middle of the night, even if I was tired. I went to Romania to see my friend´s home there, to Italy to discover my love. I gave money to those that didn´t have anything else, sponsoring four children in three nations when I had no income of my own. I thought twice before speaking. I also knew when to not overthink, and instead to take the chance. I enjoyed my things more because I was more grateful. I cared, and so I learned how important it is to unplug my TV from the wall every time I turn it off (¨vampire load¨). And I dont presume this is enough to make up for how much has been sacrificed for me to have and enjoy these opportunities. My ¨self-styled¨ style is that I hope to maybe cross that threshold--of not wasting potential--while creating more than was spent on me. And so I find myself hoping to again call myself Peace Corps volunteer, and to say it soon.
I don´t want this to be where I highlight accomplishments. ¨Yet those are declarative sentences, Ben!¨ Rather, I hope to illustrate the modus operandi behind the facts, the approach behind the madness. I tell people that the hardest part of finishing an Ironman triathlon is of just entertaining the thought for the first time before signing up! Its the difference between going to a place and being taken there unawares.
The people that won the awards at the Golden Globes were not the most talented. But they made the most of what they had. That is the identity I hope to style for myself.
Quote of the night: ¨Please wrap up? Omigod, you have no idea how much I am not going to wrap up!¨ Kate Winslet
Runner up: ¨If I don´t have to ask that question (will I be able to get away with this?), then that´s not a movie I´m going to make.¨ Steven Spielberg
**I imagine it is a more fun question with the addition of a word, ´how will i be able to get away with this?´**
I like putting this on paper, or online, because I´m tired of telling the story. At least, I´d rather make more stories to tell, different ones. As Steven Spielberg said at the Oscars just now, it´s such a greater place, one where you can be an enabler. Even if it is not limited to the sense of being a mentor, as he mentions, but in the broader sense of how my friend Dee is in the film business because of Spielberg. Reaching people to an extent you´ll never even realize. Like him, I look forward to a time when people come to me and say, I couldn´t have done this without you. It´s sad to think that for many, especially in the developing world, that is a very persistent truth. Hopefully there will be more of us breaking apart that antiquated inefficiency and retooling the machine for more torque, more horsepower baby!!! One that takes us further--faster--together.
A good story, one that says maybe I am not as weird as I think:
http://www.moreintelligentlife.com/story/age-mass-intelligence?page=1
**Rule #1 for the American Sophisticate: don´t presume to matter, no matter how much money has been spent on you in your 20-40-60 years of life**
It´s precedence comes over the other, still-unlisted rules because the question of identity is so much more entrenched and bleeding awful in our society today than I wish it were. To identify, you need qualifiers. When you self-identify, then hopefully you end up with the same good qualifiers that you desired for yourself. When you ultimately see the list of the rules for being a fellow Sophisticate, you´ll find them to all start with the phrase : ¨don´t presume to...¨ and then you´ll find one of those desired qualifiers that people hope to have for their selves. And really, if sophistication is at heart about knowing the nuances for what those things mean, then it takes a great deal of introspection to discover if you so qualify. It´s the difference between knowing the virtues, the vices, and embodying them, exuding them, expelling them from your pores and lacing them into your words. And it´s also about sharing them. You might be a greater person yet lives... less. Does less, leaves less, loves less, and, so being, wastes more.
One anecdote: speaking to my father about how I was working on a few different novels in French and Spanish from Nobel prize winners, he thought it would be an exercise in torture, hitting my head repeatedly and sharply against the language barrier wall. But I see clearly that the greatest writers are not the ones with the largest, most confusing vocabulary. Rather they are often the ones with the greatest economy of words. A word is not wasted. Except for somebody like Beckett, where all of them are. But then, too, it´s great.
The big crisis of our time is over waste. Until the 1950´s, you had a small group of the elite that were given the ability to create extravagent amassments of waste. And for all of the illiberality of that era, one thing positive is that such a world as that was sustainable. The exceptions were small groups of people here and there, often made powerful with guns: those railworkers that nearly destroyed the buffalo species, or marauding gangs on a Crusade seeking to pillar, plunder and burn. After the ´50s, things were upended and suddenly everyone creates far more waste than they can even conceptualize. As Americans, the most talented at this, the most banal in our evil against the natural world, we have the stereotype of the ugly American with huge sums of money falling out of their pockets. I think it´s a pretty accurate image, though our shared existence is posh enough that we don´t notice the more vast amounts of garbage that fall out at the same time (though other people are quite aware of this). And until we became a service economy, each dollar when calculating our GDP each year used to have a piece of trash intimately attached to it, going to the landfill. For this, we were known as the throw-away economy. Waste! While climate change is more than an energy problem, it would be much less of one if we didn´t automatically waste half of our energy production by an unintelligent electric grid. A faulty economy can be traced to the same such with our neural kilowatts, the waste of brain power (a brain is quite similar to a hybrid car, it seems... our smarts help us go to find food, so some of that energy expended is recaptured, similarly to the kinetic energy caught by a car´s brakes, and the brain is fueled and able to fire more electricity, more neurons and push the body further along the journey). Bush could have been a wonderful president, the best we ever had. He had all of the political capital that Obama does, all of the resources and the crises. Yet he wasted gobs of it on meaningless brand loyalty over qualification and merit. Considering the confrontations before us, it´s a genuine tragedy to waste such opportunity.
What is the lesson of the great writer, mentioned above? What is to be taken from the example of who wins when one pits Breadth of Vocabulary vs. economy of Word?
It´s that quality doesn´t intrinsically costs more. The waste comes from inside our usage of the raw materials. To change the way they are used is thus the key to change what is wasted. Better results can be obtained without costing more of those things.
So the tragedy of tragedies is to misuse what is given us. The great life lesson learned in Bolivia is applicable, ´I do that which simplifies my life the most´, also ´I do that which complicates my life the least.´ The lesson learned from the Harvard positive psychology class is as well: better to do one something meaningful and fully enjoy it than to skim over a lifetime of endless experiences half-felt.
Something I remember from when I was more of an athlete was reading how a good marathoner had repeatedly beaten his greater competitor at Boston by just being more diligent and efficient in his form. Those seconds not wasted led him to victory. When it comes to identity and fashioning our person then, we can use such examples to highlight what works and doesn´t. The obvious part to start is style. And when it comes to identity, results are far less important than style.
With few exceptions, people do not pay attention to the successes of others. I keep my report card, and you keep yours. And that´s fine. But while I may not remember how many A´s you made, or care, I do remember the way you were nice to me when I felt bad. I remember what you deserved according to the way you acted, the way you worked. That you were sincere. I imagine many of those reading are aware that possible Obama Senate replacement Burgess has a mausoleum with his accomplishments etched in stone. But those such things are less valuable, less enduring than the maniere d´etre demonstrated behind the figures. Similarly, people think we´ve entered a new era with the election of Obama. But there is no amelioration of racial attitudes in the next years if he doesn´t´do a good job now that he´s there. The election I believe was more symbolic of the change that has already happened in the past twenty years, before Obama ever started his campaign. More important than him being elected a ¨president who happens to be black¨ is how he handled the American people with respect, honor and gracious deference to doing things the right way rather than the easy way. But as JFK said, we´re not doing it because it is easy, but rather because it is hard. Is that not one of the most astonishing qualifiers we hope to claim as our own (and one we meet but too rarely)? The American style is found in that small Kennedy quote: democracy isnt the easiest form of government by far. Every decision becomes more pained and bloodied before it is passed than under other regimes. But it´s what identifies us and sets us on a higher plane, even if some of the results are not as good.
I enjoyed the script of the Golden Globes tonight and how insightful the writers were when describing the movies and characters (a future post will deal with how much I value and hope to better my insight). This character is neurotic, that one is self-destructive, or winsome and gamy, thoughtless and ingratiating. While we all find ourselves exhibiting a little bit of nearly every character trait at one time or another, this is the point of what I´m hoping to hit. Given that we can manipulate somewhat our destiny--I´m not so sure we do, destiny in this instance defined as our trajectory based on the calculus of our inner momentum and pathologies--given that we in fact have some control, then the question is what should that filter allow in and keep out, what to allow out and keep in. What will we let define us. What is a good fit for us. What to reinforce, what to drown out. And how to do so.
The idea to write this entry comes from a long-used exercise of mine, that of imagining what will be left next to my name when I am long-gone. Going through school, it´s a torment to decide what comes first.
Is
¨Ben, engineer.¨
a better fit than
¨ Ben: poet. ¨
¨ Ben: professor ¨
or ¨Ben: drop-out ¨ ?
I was only able to relax on this when I found a cop-out. Rather than letting my chosen area of study define my profession, I´d choose to study foreign languages and come away with skills that could be applied to many careers. Little did I think then that instead I was rather just postponing this question until the time it came to choose a graduate school program that are even more specialized!
Now, the ideal version of me goes something like this:
Ben Andrés Rose (my nom de plume ; né Ben Andrew Pennington): statesman, writer, recording artist, peace activist & philanthropist, film producer & cinéaste, endurance athlete & polyglot man of letters, brother, son, husband uncle & grandfather. Tony award winner for Krapp´s Last Tape: The Musical! (with the hit song ´I am......... craaaaaap!´). Honorary Latino.
The truth may be far off the mark. But while those things are cherished by me enough to be worth the expense of my lifetime, I much prefer to define myself in the terms over which I have more control. So it would be something like this:
I am the one who went, who tried, who lived and who died. I cared when others were mute in their ignorance, I understood when others didn´t listen. I didn´t presume to matter, and so I found what mattered more. I thought a hybrid was worth buying in 2002, when gas was still $1/gallon (it now has 100,000 miles on it). I came to you in the middle of the night, even if I was tired. I went to Romania to see my friend´s home there, to Italy to discover my love. I gave money to those that didn´t have anything else, sponsoring four children in three nations when I had no income of my own. I thought twice before speaking. I also knew when to not overthink, and instead to take the chance. I enjoyed my things more because I was more grateful. I cared, and so I learned how important it is to unplug my TV from the wall every time I turn it off (¨vampire load¨). And I dont presume this is enough to make up for how much has been sacrificed for me to have and enjoy these opportunities. My ¨self-styled¨ style is that I hope to maybe cross that threshold--of not wasting potential--while creating more than was spent on me. And so I find myself hoping to again call myself Peace Corps volunteer, and to say it soon.
I don´t want this to be where I highlight accomplishments. ¨Yet those are declarative sentences, Ben!¨ Rather, I hope to illustrate the modus operandi behind the facts, the approach behind the madness. I tell people that the hardest part of finishing an Ironman triathlon is of just entertaining the thought for the first time before signing up! Its the difference between going to a place and being taken there unawares.
The people that won the awards at the Golden Globes were not the most talented. But they made the most of what they had. That is the identity I hope to style for myself.
Quote of the night: ¨Please wrap up? Omigod, you have no idea how much I am not going to wrap up!¨ Kate Winslet
Runner up: ¨If I don´t have to ask that question (will I be able to get away with this?), then that´s not a movie I´m going to make.¨ Steven Spielberg
**I imagine it is a more fun question with the addition of a word, ´how will i be able to get away with this?´**
I like putting this on paper, or online, because I´m tired of telling the story. At least, I´d rather make more stories to tell, different ones. As Steven Spielberg said at the Oscars just now, it´s such a greater place, one where you can be an enabler. Even if it is not limited to the sense of being a mentor, as he mentions, but in the broader sense of how my friend Dee is in the film business because of Spielberg. Reaching people to an extent you´ll never even realize. Like him, I look forward to a time when people come to me and say, I couldn´t have done this without you. It´s sad to think that for many, especially in the developing world, that is a very persistent truth. Hopefully there will be more of us breaking apart that antiquated inefficiency and retooling the machine for more torque, more horsepower baby!!! One that takes us further--faster--together.
A good story, one that says maybe I am not as weird as I think:
http://www.moreintelligentlife.com/story/age-mass-intelligence?page=1
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